Specia

ta taah

on hold until further notice.

va pupa mosu.

mai mult

vrei mereu mai mult de la toata lumea, de la viata ta. e una dintre constantele faptului ca esti om. ba chiar am citit niste studii care spun ca daca obtii ceea ce-ti doresti, o sa fii nefericit. ne trebuie mereu un morcov care sa atarne in fata ochilor nostri, dupa care sa alergam – iar de asta depinde, cumva, fericirea speciei. bine, ca am citit si studii care spun ca daca dormi mai mult de 7 ore pe noapte o sa mori in urmatorii 15 ani, deci luati-o as is.

cainii raciti sunt minunati, am vazut ieri un cuplu, tuseau incetisor, ca niste mosi, langa o balta. si asta i-a facut asa, foarte foarte umani. m-am gandit hei, astia sigur n-or sa ma urmareasca de dupa tufisuri si masini la vara, cand o sa fiu noaptea pe strazi.

nu trece o zi fara sa ne gandim ca inauntrul nostru e un corp strain, prietenos, care ne mananca de vii.

sunt o usita de la casa poporului, cea mai mica.

PS. – si cica xiu xiu la liveland festival, care e ceva pe lacul morii, dupa cum zice google. xiu xiu, frate, xiu xiu. wow. ca atare,

////

You say I am looker because I am girl
You say I am stupid because I am your girl
You leave me out on the steps you dress me up like a boy
You say that I am your secret love
You say to be quiet but I want to tell the whole world
I like my neighborhood I like my gun
Drive in my little car I am your girl and I will protect you
We do it in the back of my little car
Pull up my pants and fix my bra go on home to your kids
You tell me to be quiet but I’m going to tell the whole block

\\\\

panica dans panica dans

ieri facusem planul ca asta sa fie un post despre scorpii – cine sunt, cum le recunoastem, cum ne ferim de ele, unde-si duc veacul samd, dupa care mi-am dat seama ca ar fi unul dintre cele mai inutile posturi de pe lume. asa ca o sa va dau unul slightly less useless.

nu exista atribut care sa-ti distraga reflexul de aparare in momentul in care zona ta personala e breached intr-un loc public. for instance, sa zicem, doar sa zicem, ca o fata blonda f f frumoasa, cu jacheta alba de piele, foarte 80′s cocalar style imbracata (nu-i asa, ironic) vine f f langa tine in metrou, sau autobuz, sau tramvai – desi asta e gol. daca esti fata inlocuieste cu baiat, but that’s not the fucking point. primul, cel mai atavic reflex, e de fight or flight. instinctul e sa o impingi mai incolo, sa o sperii sau sa te cari tu. chiar daca ar fi un mating partner pe cinste.

which reminds me. we’re fucking never really trusting anyone ;) not even mom. especially not mom.

////

I’ll lay down my glasses,
I’ll lay down in houses,
if things come alive.

I’ll subtract pain by ounces,
Yeah, I will start painting houses,
if things come alive

I promise to commit no acts of violence,
Be it physical or otherwise,
If things come alive

I’ll say it now
I’ll say it now
I’ll say it now
Oh, I’ll say it now
Cuz I want it now

When personality is scarred tissue,
We travel South with disuse
I’m subtle like a lion’s cage
Such a cautious display

Remember take hold of your time here
Give some meanings to the means
To your end.
Not even jail.

We marshal in the days of longing,
We tremble like anyone’s children,
And wink towards the fire.

I’m erring on the side of caution,
Betraying no other symptom,
But girl, you shake it right.

I will bounce you on the lap of silence,
We will free up to the beats of science,
And girl, you shake it right

I’ll say it now

Oh, but hold it still, darling, your hair so pretty
Can’t you feel the warmth of my sincerity?
You make motion when you cry

You’re making people’s lives feel less private.
Don’t take time away
You make motion when you cry

we all hold hands,
can’t we all hold hands,
When we make new plans?

I pretend like no one else
To try and control myself.
I’m subtle like a lion’s cage.
Such a cautious display.

Remember take hold of your time here,
Give some meanings to the means
To your end
Not even jail

\\\\

love it love me

as vrea sa fiu camp ca adam west

stii genul de one night stand-uri care aproape ca se intampla si atunci sunt, cumva prelungite involuntar? gen se mentine un soi de legatura pana cand the deed is done and then thank you and good bye? mi se pare cea mai stupida forma de relationare umana ever. daca e vorba doar despre sex, ori se intampla, ori nu. e complet inutil sa investesti timp. mai ales daca-ti dai seama dupa aia ca nu vrei, de fapt, nimic, si ca esti mega plictisit/a – trebuie sa dai explicatii. asta e, cumva, f amuzant, sa ajungi sa dai explicatii pentru o chestie ce trebuia sa fie, cel putin initial, I like you – let’s fuck. asta asa, ca vb ieri cu un prieten, si mi-am adus aminte de o faza.

sau mai sunt tipii care nu se prind ca nu e vorba decat de sex, si au impresia ca tipele vor ceva mai mult, si chiar cand e sa se intample chestia incep ei cu explicatii gen “stii, eu nu vreau o relatie”, “nu vreau sa-ti fac rau” si alte bullshit-uri de mega cocalar si mood killere.

am citit undeva o chestie mega aroganta de-a lui marius chivu, un autor / critic literar de mana a paispea de la noi, cum e houellebecq mediocru. Nu m-ar fi deranjat asta, la o adica e o lume libera, fiecare are dreptul sa. Dar l-a comparat cu Marie Darrieussecq, iar asta mi-a facut sangele sa fiarba :)). Adica de ce nu l-a comparat cu beigbeder, daca tot vb de genul asta de valoare? in fine, muie marius chivu pt asta. PS – scrii f prost, ti-am citit o povestire “erotica”, era sa mor de ras, tine-te de predat mai bine.

suntem acolo. suntem in plin relativism moral. suntem in plina era a friends with benefits. o relatie lunga o sa fie aia de un an :)). adios pilula de baza a societatii, ca sa zic asa. hai cu divorturile si cu copiii cu mai multi parinti, cam unul pe an. hai cu singuratatea si lipsa de substanta. hai cu substantele. hai cu muzica frumoasa.

////

If it’s fragile
I think it’s worthwhile
And if you break on me
Well accidents happen
Cos if it’s fragile
I think it’s worthwhile
And if you break on me
It’s nothing to see
Well accidents happen

If you’re gonna break down
And just break down
And if you break on me
There’s nothing to see
If you’re gonna break down
And just break down
And if you break on me

So if you want to
Hold onto
What it is we had
It’s all blackened and shattered
So if you want to
Hold onto
What it is we had
It’s really lumber
It’s all blackened and shattered

If you’re gonna break down
And just break down
And if you break on me
There’s nothing to see
If you’re gonna break down
And just break down
And if you break on me, oh ho

Why is the last word
So wholesome?
And the widths in me
Are broken and flattered
Why is the last word
So wholesome?
And the widths in me
Are like the dead sea
It’s all broken and flattered

If you’re gonna break down
And just break down
And if you break on me
There’s nothing to see
If you’re gonna break down
And just break down
And if you break on me- eee-yeah!

If you’re gonna break down
And just break down
And if you break on me
There’s nothing to see
If you’re gonna break down
And just break down
And if you break on me
You mean nothing to me

\\\\

dar

as vrea sa-ti spun ca bucurestiul cand e noapte si e gol e f frumos. mai ales cu o pereche de casti in urechi si cu muzica potrivita. mai ales cand ploua dar nu e neplacut. mai ales cand iti simti picioarele grele de oboseala, insa oboseala e buna. mai ales cand poti sa respiri un fel de aer pe care esti prea ocupat altfel sa-l respiri.

e un exercitiu pe care, cumva, il recomand, acesta al plimbarilor lungi si intunecate prin mijlocul locului in care ne ducem, unii dintre noi, veacul.

in rest, am tot felul de dileme morale. oare suferinta trecuta imi da dreptul sa provoc, la randul meu, suferinta? oare sa devin unul dintre ticalosii pe care-i dispretuiesc? daca da, de ce? daca nu, de ce? cam asta e problema, n-am niciun fel de argument pentru niciuna dintre caile de actiune. pentru ca, sincer, nu imi pasa. nici macar de mine, desi bravam putin in niste posturi trecute. sunt incapabil sa simt ceva, si atunci mi-e totuna orice. orice s-ar intampla, sa se intample, sunt tentat sa las totul sa curga la intamplare.

ca atare

////

Laid back
laid back
laid back, we’ll give you laid back
laid back
laid back
laid back, i’ll give you laid back

over and over and over and over and over
like a monkey with a miniature cymbal
the joy of repetition really is in you
under and under and under and under and under
the smell of repetition really is on you
and when i feel this way i really am with you

laid back
laid back
laid back, i’ll give you laid back

over and over and over and over and over
like a monkey with a miniature cymbal
the joy of repetition really is in you
under and under and under and under and under
the smell of repetition really is on you
and when you look this way i really am with you

started thinking about what i to have to do (tell you)
i got to thinking that i mean just what you do (tell you)
started thinking about what i to have to do (tell you, tell you, tell you, tell you)
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
s-e-x-i-n-g
c-a-s-i-o
p-o-k-e
y-o-u
m-e
i
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
s-e-x-i-n-g
c-a-s-i-o
p-o-k-e
y-o-u
m-e
i

\\\\

if you ever come by

cand eram mic credeam ca mahmur inseamna ca esti ametit dimineata dupa somn si ca mahmureala e starea aia de confuzie dinaintea trezirii adevarate.

as vrea sa-ti vorbesc despre doua fete foarte frumoase, cu self esteem-ul la pamant, care s-au lasat agatate de cei mai urati oameni pe care i-am vazut vreodata in control. nu era pe grotesc, gen regizorul si piticul, era doar pe uratenie. urati la fatza, urat imbracati (cu nishte fashuri din alea de cocalar, nici macar nu erau fashuri de drogat hipsterizat). mi s-a parut asa, foarte supra-realista faza. daca incepea si piticul sa danseze intr-un spot de lumina, bricks would have been shat.

as vrea sa-ti spun ca ceata in care ma poticnesc zi dupa zi a devenit mai putin densa, dar te-as minti. o sa ma rezum la a-ti zice ca it’s still fun. it’s still thrilling. I’m not yet dead.

////
Marcia elle danse
Sur du satin de la rayonne
Dur polystirene expanse
A ses pieds
Marcia dance avec des jambes
Aiguisees comme des couperets
Deux fleches qui donnent des idees
Des sensations
Marcia elle est maigre
Belle en scene belle comme a la ville
La voir danser me transforme
En excitee
Moretto comme ta bouche
Est immense quand to souris
Et quand tu ris je ris aussi
Tu aimes tellement la vie
Quel est donc ce froid
Que l’on sent en toi?
Mais c’est la mort
Qui t’a assassinee Marcia
C’est la mort
Tu t’es consumee Marcia
C’est le cancer
Que tu as pris sous ton bras
Maintenant tu es en cendres, cendres
La mort c’est comme une chose impossible
Et meme a toi qui est forte comme une fusee
Et meme a toi qui est la vie meme Marcia
C’est la mort qui t’a emmenee
Marcia danse un peu chinois
La chaleur dans les mouvements d’epaules
A plat comme un hieroglyphe inca de l’opera
Avec la tete
Elle danse aussi tres bien
Et son visage
Danse avec tout le reste
Elee a cherche
Une nouvelle facon
Et l’a inventee
C’est elle la sauterelle
La sirene en mal d’amour
Le danseud dans la flanelle
Ou le carton
Moretto comme ta bouche
Est immense quand to souris
Et quand tu ris je ris aussi
Tu aimes tellement la vie
Quel est donc ce froid
Que l’on sent en toi?
Mais c’est la mort
Qui t’a assassinee Marcia
C’est la mort
Tu t’es consumee Marcia
C’est le cancer
Que tu as pris sous ton bras
Maintenant tu es en cendres, cendres
La mort c’est comme une chose impossible pour toi
Qui est la vie meme Marcia
Et meme a toi
Qui est forte comme une fusee
C’est la mort qui t’a emmenee
Marcia Marcia Marcia Marcia Marcia

\\\\

fucked up.

si un mega PS pentru cine are urechi sa auda:

NU MAI INSISTA. NU AM MILA. NU AM COMPASIUNE. NU MA INTERESEAZA. SUNT AUTOFAG. SUNT AUTOSUFICIENT. MA ADOR. NU-MI PASA. NU MAI INSISTA. FUCK THE FUCK OFF.

mhmt

ca sa zic asa.

cel mai ciudat cand esti obligat sa lucrezi sambata e ca s-ar putea sa fi fost toata noaptea in oras vinerea. de unde si postul asta, sambata la 7 dimineata.

de ce trebuie sa dai mereu dovada ca esti tu “ala bun”. de ce trebuie sa cedezi ca sa nu te perceapa lumea ca pe un asshole? gen sa zicem ca cineva face ceva, apoi tu faci exact ce a facut omul ala inainte, si tot tu esti asshole-ul pt toata lumea, daca nu cedezi. de ce pula mea ar trebui sa cedezi?

stii ce zic eu? zic ca e timpul sa nu mai existe fraierul tuturor. stii? vezi-ti de halucinatiile si paranoia si bipolarismul tau fara sa-ti pese si de cum te percepe lumea. mai putine fapte bune, mai mult egoism.

in rest, e de avut grija cand mergi la party-uri unde mai apar si pustani de 20 de ani. nu de alta, dar daca sunt indeajuns de multi sigur cativa se gasesc sa se ia la bataie ;)

eram pe un pod deasupra dambovitei si toti peretii se topeau in apa involburata, si cum ma uitam la ei isi reveneau. si dupa aia ma intorceam si ma uitam la cladirile de-o parte si de alta si le vedeam cum se prabusesc si fac buuuuuuf. si dupa aia au trecut pe langa mine doi batrani ca un tren, durum-durum, durum-durum, si tot podul tremura si se cabra, si ei durum-durum, peretii curgeau curgeau curgeau. a fost foarte, foarte misto. fuck, a fost foarte foarte misto.

////

Tranquilizers made me nervous
I can’t relax no more
Should I go out or stay in
I never had this feeling before

And then I see your smiling faces
They are all looking at me
Oh, doctor doctor can’t you see
There must be something wrong with me

I can’t piss in the toilet
Can’t sleep in my bedroom
There’s no food in the kitchen
I can’t live in a living room

And then I hear your silent voices
They are all talking about me
Oh doctor doctor can’t you see
I’m not the man I used to be

I I can’t can’t live live
In a in a living living room room
I can’t live in a living room

Tranquilizers made me nervous
I can’t relax no more
Should I go out or stay in
I never had this feeling before

And then I see your smiling faces
You are all laughing with me
Oh, doctor doctor can’t you see
The things that happened to me

I just can’t live any
I just can’t live anymore

\\\\

si daaaaaaaaaaa, red zebra sunt fucking fucking brilliant, am luat discografia, deci mii de sute de multumiri.

taxi

am o chestie cu plimbarile de noapte, in taxi. cand poti sa pui muzica si sa te lasi leganat usor de masina si luminile colorate ale orasului, toate topite pe parbriz. daca ploua e si mai misto. iar cand simti cum treci de 100 la ora, putin ametit de la alcool, cu I’m in New Yooork / No need for words now / We sit in silence, de pe colaborarea aia cu P.J. Harvey, si doar sa simti, animalic, the fear and the excitement and the sadness of it all. genul asta de seri sunt f misto, insa mi se intampla destul de rar ca toti factorii de care am nevoie sa fie intruniti.

poate de-aia ma enerveaza cand langa mine mai e cineva, mai ales cand stii ca cineva-ul ala e prima si ultima oara acolo. si stii unde te duci. si un moment perfect e ruinat de o apropiere nedorita, starnita doar din blazare si din nepasare. oameni care sunt simpatici, care sunt ok, cu care, la o adica, ai mai putea vorbi. oameni carora le dai mai mult decat esti cu adevarat dispus sa dai, si totusi atat de putin in marea schema a lucrurilor. sunt o categorie aparte, ciudata, oamenii astia. nu stiu unde sa-i pun, ce rol sa le dau. nu stiu cum sa-i interpretez, nu stiu cata importanta au, daca au vreuna. stiu doar ca e obositor, cumva, mai ales daca nu faci asta decat din inertie si lipsa de chef de a face ceva, orice.

am cel mai frumos somn din lume, atat de frumos incat ai plange daca l-ai vedea. atat de bun, cat 100 de pisici adormite de bun. am cel mai frumos somn din orasul acesta. I’m awesome. I’m fucking awesome.

////

Everybody sees me
But its not that easy
Standing in the lightfield
Standing in the lightfield
Waiting for some action
Waiting for some action
Why wont you come over here

Why wont you come over here
We’ve got a city to love
Why wont you come over here
We’ve got a city to love

Old time grudges
Will die so slowly
I know you miss the
Way I saw you
And cold
You’re so cold
You’re so cold
You’re so cold

Nobody can see me
Everythings too easy
Standing in the lightfield
Standing in the lightfield
Waiting for some actress
Waiting for some actress
To say
Why wont you come over here

Why wont you come over here
We’ve got a city to love
Why wont you come over here
We’ve got a city to love

Old time love song
Will die so swiftly
You never trust me
For a while
It was nice
But its time to say bye

Cold
You’re so cold
You’re so cold
You’re so cold

NO NO NO
You’re so cold
You’re so cold
You’re so cold

NO NO NO NO
You’re so cold
You’re so cold
You’re so cold

Oh
You’re so cold

\\\\

there was a boy

ca potentialitate. pe care nu o sa ajung sa-l cunosc niciodata. pentru ca nu a reusit sa existe. in locul lui sunt eu. si nu stiu daca merit.

ieri mirosea a pipi cald in metrou. poate din cauza asta am racit. prea multa fandoseala peste tot. au inceput sa traga f multi oameni de mine, in toate partile. adica eu sunt un cadavru pe plaja si ei sunt niste racusori rosii rosii rosii si vin cu clestisorii lor de brici si incep sa traga de degete, de haine, fiecare grabindu-se la casele lor cu cate o bucata din mine. vreau sa zic, de fapt, exact ca iisus. stii?

a exclamat o proasta la un moment dat “tu nu crezi in dumnezeu, nu!?”. what. the. fuck?

ma port exact ca un psihopat, insa fara bucuriile si micile minuni ale psihopatiei adevarate. dar daca azi sunt un arhitect renumit, maine sigur voi fi un pilot de avion cu peste 3000 de ore la zbor. cad fermoarele. stii ce zic? la fel cum leoaicele, in savana, lasandu-se mangaiate de ierburile intre care si-au incordat toti muschii, devenind o sageata de carne si oase si sange, spre singurul tel pe care-l poate avea un pradator suplu si tanar in acel moment: sa-si infiga coltii in ceva viu, cald, galgaitor, piuitor.

nah, I’m just fucking with you. la cat de racit sunt o s-o ard pe depresie, ps3 si scris.

////

I got your name and number, you seem kinda surprised.
Maybe it’s ’cause I can be, you know, like cold as ice.
In crowded situations I always want to go.
And if I see you leaving, I beat you to the door.
I’m gonna tell you something, you’re better than fake-wild.
I see the future.
In it, they try to kill your style, your manner, and your motives.
I’ve seen the way it goes.
So memorize my number, that’s why I got a phone.
Call me after dark.
I can make the sun rise daily right up from your landscape painting.
I will be in the front row later when your brush becomes a mic.
Maybe we could change this game forever.
Shapes our breath makes in cold weather.
They might say we’re both crazy…I’m just glad I found you, baby.
I don’t want someone telling me no-oh-oh, “you’re out of time”
I don’t mind being debated as long as you’re with me tonight.
I’m not gonna give up easy, we were made to cross the line.
I don’t want the things that we do…I don’t want to let them die.

\\\\

dragut contrastul intre versuri si gen. se potrivesc si nu chiar. de unde si contrastul. si dragut. imi plac redundantele, ma fac sa par inteligent.